Blogging
So, I've tried to do blogging with some regularity on and off again for the past, oh, I don't know, five years and I've always failed miserably. Now I'm going to take another stab at it because I have a feeling my life has become, and will become, more interesting and that maybe you will enjoy these sparse posts more than you did. I'm not going to guarantee that anything useful or valuable will come from these inane blabbers, but you may find that the life of a socially awkward teen may provide you with some sort of entertainment. So, without further adieu, here is the first blog post of an escaped heart.
Eighth Grade Drama
This coming week is the very last week of my eighth grade year. What a fucking roller coaster that was. Last year had only one major drama issue in which I had a falling out with my only best friend. That kind of sucked. But holy hell, eighth grade? There's some sort of issue every single week. Granted, they aren't enormous fights followed by icy silences (well, some of them are), but they're still way too abundant. Can't anyone just be chill and not be so serious, learn to take a joke, and realize that your words can hurt other people? Geez... Some of the girls in the 'clique' I'm in (God, I absolutely HATE calling it that) seriously need to either figure out how to relax or cut back on the insult-jokes. I swear, I have to deal with this shit every single day of school, all on top of the other crap like schoolwork, homework, boy-drama, and interacting with the other people. I'm so sorry if I'm not dedicated mind and heart to the fact that Sally said she didn't like your shoes, but I've got other things that matter just a little bit more than your little tiff. My advice though? GET OVER IT. Don't make it a huge fucking deal.
Guys
Oh my Lord. Speaking of boys: Well, have I had a time with them. At the very beginning of the year, like the first few weeks, I had a small thing for a guy I did not know one bit and the only reason I even had a thing for him was because he was mildly attractive. Got over that fast. Then I liked this new guy at our school that had become quite the popular. However (amazing timing for me, as usual), by the time I actually noticed him, he was already dating this crazy girl who I didn't really like that much. They broke up after being together about five or six months. Pretty good for a middle school relationship. They also seemed to have broken up on good terms, but I'm not sure, given that he broke up with her. Then, pretty much immediately after breaking up with her, he turns around and asks out one of her best friends. And she says yes. First of all, what kind of a guy breaks up with a girl then asks out her best friend? ASSHOLE ALERT. Secondly, what kind of a best friend says yes to the guy after he just broke it off with her best friend? BITCH ALERT. What is wrong with people these days? I got over him just around the end of their relationship because I realized there was no point in being googly-eyed over a guy I had a very slim chance of ever being with. And he's a major asshat. (It was mostly the asshat part.)
Now, this last guy gets a whole damn paragraph to himself because the story is reeeally long and heartbreaking. So, my school did a play this year. Peter Pan. Auditions were back in the middle of February and, by some God-given miracle, I landed the part of Wendy. No, I didn't bribe the director or do anything immoral to get the part. I honestly think I just got lucky with the monologue I memorized, because so many other people in the play (the girl who played Captain Hook, Smee) were infinitely better than I was. I'll give you one guess to figure out who I fell for. ...You got it; Peter Pan. Throughout all the rehearsals and lock-ins and tech rehearsals he was so sweet to me, on top of his sense of humor, his looks, his pure confidence... Well, it just melted me. I loved him so incredibly hard, I forgot to keep it from showing. Everything I felt was basically written all over my skin, and I didn't even realize it. So, opening night came and went (It went okay), and one of his friends told me that he knew how I felt. I kind of collapsed on the inside because I knew he had been acting weird around me lately, He's also in men's choir and I'm in Varsity choir, and we were in the choir program's spring show. And, of course, his assigned spot onstage was right in front of me. Right next to his best friend. Boy, was I in for a treat. Peter Pan basically just avoided talking to me as much as he could. So, yeah. I tried to talk to him about it after the show, but he made it very clear that he didn't feel the same way. He told everyone. Then, he refused to talk to me. I lost it. When I got home after the spring show, I locked myself in my room, and for the rest of the night, all I could see were figures blurred by my salty tears.
And that's the end of that. At least, that's what I think is the end. I still can't stop thinking about him, but I'm steadily moving on. At least next year I'm starting high school and he'll still be stuck in that hellhole. (He's in seventh grade. And don't give me any crap about liking a younger guy, it's only one goddamn year.)
Summer
You have no idea how excited I am about summer. I get to go to San Francisco for a couple of days for a wedding and to just hang around there. I get to go to a Baylor All-State Music camp to learn my music for All-State Choir auditions in high school. But the big thing that I'm going to explode because I just can't wait for it?
STAGEDOOR MANOR. Ohmygoshh. A camp that has people that are as in love with Broadway as I am. With singing. With acting. With the idea of performing in front of people. Maybe I'll have my first summer fling. Maybe I'll make friends I'll keep forever, and we'll go on to be on Broadway together. And it's in NEW YORK. My dreamland. I just cannot fucking wait. I KNOW it's going to be amazing.
High School
HOLY SHIT. I am SO ready to get the HELL out of middle school and finally get into high school! I cannot emphasize how ready I am for high school. 1) I get to get away from him and 2) middle school just sucks ass. There's really no better way to put it. Sixth graders love it, because it's not elementary school. Seventh graders are just kind of like, "Eh. Whatever." Then, the eighth graders are excited to be "seniors... in middle school," but by the end of the year, they can't get out of there fast enough. THAT'S ME. I honestly don't even want to go back there for the last week. I had to walk to school there. You can't listen to music there, or chew gum, or bring your backpacks to class (even at the end of the year when you can't use your lockers anymore), and everything is just kind of halfway done. High school? You can chew gum. You can listen to music if the teacher isn't teaching. You can bring your backpacks to all your classes. I'll be taking the bus, and the stop is literally a minute walk from my house. The front office secretary is British. BRITISH. The lunch line has soft ice cream. FUCKING SOFT ICE CREAM. I was sold just on the ice cream.
Oh, and then there's choir. Sweet, lovely, amazing, wonderful choir that I simply can't live without. I have the amazing Mr. Ferris as my choir director next year. I'll miss Mrs. Kelly, she was my favorite teacher hands-down, but I have a feeling I'm going to love him too. They've started a tradition called Broadway Night where we perform Broadway numbers, and I just have to get into it. I live for Broadway. It's my heart and soul and the air I breathe. They're also starting to do a musical every year. This year, it was Kiss Me, Kate, and it starred Alyssa Muir. I actually met her when the eighth graders went to visit the high school. I fangirled embarrassingly, but I think she was flattered. (:
So, obviously, I really want to go high school.
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A lot of information in this little selection, but I hope you enjoyed it, nonetheless. Hopefully, my next posts will be less wordy and more consistent. (:
